THE HARMONIOUS COUPLE – CASES OF HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIPS (AL AND BETTY) CHILDHOOD
Al and Betty have now (as of this writing) been sober for sixteen years, and both have been pursuing careers in publishing. Because of their abusive family backgrounds, they chose not to have children. “I was afraid that if I had a kid, I’d abuse it,” Betty says. Al adds, “You never know what kinds of feelings will be drawn out of you by children. Unless you’re really ready for it, you shouldn’t do it.” For the most part, their intimacy with one another has sustained them—particularly the sexual bond. There were times when she would get into what she called her “paranoid mood,” begin to see him as a “man on the take,” and withdraw from him, snap at him, and question everything he did and said. But he was secure enough not to fight back, and the moods passed. During other times, he would get into his attitude that “Women are all teases,” and withdraw from her or get angry at her and accuse her of deliberately frustrating him. Fortunately, because both had worked through their transference feelings in therapy, they had strong enough observing egos to understand what was going on and not act out on that too severely. Always, in the end, their sexual bond brought them back in touch with their core feelings, away from their defensive postures.
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